May 23, 2010

How To... Be A Happy Buddha


For the past three days, I attended lectures by the Dalai Lama at Radio City: teachings on Nagarjuna's Commentary on Bodhicitta and A Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life by Shantideva. I didn't know what to expect, but I was thinking I would learn the secret of life and something new that would help me rise above the cubicle, New York crowds, petty problems, and selfish people. I was hoping it wouldn't be totally over my head. The first day, I got there at 8:30AM, and the first lecture lasted until 11:30, then the next one was from 1:30-3:30. I kept nodding off, and I was so tired and relaxed with the red and yellow warm colors, the Tibetan music and voices, and this echo chanting sound that resonates through Radio City. People were bowing and crying, and I felt sort of out of place, but fairly zen.

Richard Gere was there, and I kept hoping Julia Roberts in hooker garb would come onstage and entertain us. My mind kept wondering, and the Dalai Lama mentioned "Delhi" and all I could think of was what kind of sandwich I would order. He was a funny little man, wearing a visor which looked like a Red Sox hat. He kept laughing. Sometimes I couldn't understand his English, but he had a translator he used more often in Days 2 and 3. However, he would go on and on and on in Tibetan for many minutes at a time, which was the perfect opportunity to cat nap. It was very hard to stay conscious. His voice was deep and lulling, like Saruman the White, from Lord of the Rings, only the opposite of evil. He reminded me of Yoda. It was uncanny. He really was a happy Buddha. At the end of each day, he walked to the end of the stage and kind of waved at everyone and said "Hi." Then he shooed us away for lunch.

On the second day, I took notes to stay awake and I also drank coffee before the first session which helped. He talked about striving to feel and realize the self, which is emptiness, but not nothingness. There's a difference, because emptiness is part of life and the ultimate reality. We exist in dependence on the physical and mental aspects of ourselves, but when we die, the soul or emptiness continues. We're supposed to meditate to learn to tap into that emptiness, because it's the true peace.

Ignorance is the cause of suffering, because reality is distorted without the wisdom of karma and emptiness. Once these are understood, we're able to support and protect other people with compassion and kindness. We become more honest, and we're able to trust and respect. Afflictions, such as attachment to people or things, anger, and fear become less solid but will always be there, because is it part of life, the result of many conditions. We're supposed to recognize the destructive nature of hatred, rage, and greed (deadly sins) and not let them reign, by practicing patience and looking at the big picture which reminds us that these feelings are temporary and irrelevant, even an illusion because emotions d0 not exist independently. We have to guard our minds against these things every second.

The Evils: Attachment, Aversion, Ignorance
The Antidotes: Solitude, Patience, Wisdom

It's very mundane to base happiness on receiving praise, success, or money, while our enemies suffer. Or if our enemies succeed, we feel dissatisfied. This cycle destroys peace of mind. We need to be happy despite circumstances. Even if we can't feel compassion for someone, we at least shouldn't feel anger because it only destroys us. Be grateful to enemies, because they give us a chance to practice patience and resilience. There are many more causes for suffering than causes for happiness, but we still have to hope for the best, while preparing for the worst. Difficulties make us wiser and stronger and closer to the ultimate reality (lucid, undefiled mind/soul). Suffering becomes easier and through suffering, our arrogance goes away and is replaced with joy.

If there is a remedy, there is no need for frustration.
If there is no remedy, there is no need for frustration.

Day 3 was the best, because he applied the more abstract teachings to daily life. He said that any religion is only effective in relation to an individual's spiritual inclinations and mental disposition, justifying the existence of all world religions and beliefs. He said it's important to experiment, question, and learn until you understand what is best for you. This is something I never heard in church, which is the reason I stopped going. The Dalai Lama basically says it's okay to be a Doubting Thomas. It's not about literal translations or one religion being the right one, or the best one. It's about finding beliefs that are suitable to you by relying on your own criteria and reasoning. This seems far more advanced and wise than the belief system I was taught, in which you go to hell if you aren't Christian... The roads to hell are paved with the remains of those who thought they were right.

If we have confidence that we can achieve the highest state of being and make an effort, we will find the strength to do it. Specifically, the best daily practice is to eat a light vegetarian dinner at 7, go to bed at 10, and wake up early to meditate, which is focusing on the simple present without a thought about the past or future. The present is uncontrived. You can start with a mental image of a light or point on the body and then try to reflect on the deeper emptiness of the mind. Sounds easy enough to me.


May 2, 2010

Donnie Trump's New Resident...


I've been meaning to update for weeks and weeks now, but alas, they blocked blogspot at work. Anyway, life is suddenly completely different. I got accepted to George Mason and Johns Hopkins. I decided against Hopkins because it's an MA, not MFA, so I would still need to also get an MFA or PhD afterward to teach at a college level. The MFA is terminal, so I get that in two years, and I'm set. I went to visit Mason, and I don't know, I just wasn't feeling it. It was small, there was one coffee shop open, I would need a car, the traffic in Fairfax, Va was pretty horrendous, and I was probably comparing it to the glorious diploma factory that is Penn State. I applied to 7 schools, and basically had two choices in the end. Go to Mason, or defer and re-apply next year. So then I got back to Hoboken on Sunday, and packed everything I own and moved to Jersey City on Friday. It seems my decision is made. I'm staying here until further notice. I moved in with Shaun. It reminds me of that Friends episode where Chandler moves in with Monica, and she kind of dramatically cries, "And I have to live with a boy!" So far I live alone actually, because Shaun had to throw everything in here Friday then go back to Philly then to NH til tonight but then I will actually be living with a boy for the first time since I was 6.

Friday, the Beverly Hillbillies moved out of Philly, out of Hoboken, and into Trump Plaza, Jersey City. Not even joking, we used a 1950's pick-up truck too. These people probably never saw anyone move themselves in without a moving company. We got lots of sneers and sniffs. Shaun had so much stuff that he filled the moving truck, so our plan to load my stuff in the same truck and then move in at the same time failed. We had to move him in, which took until 4, and we weren't supposed to move after 3:30 because Trump doesn't want to disturb the residents. Then we went back to Hoboken, loaded all of my stuff, and drove back to Trump. We had a truck load of stuff, hadn't eaten all day, and they told us we couldn't move until Monday.... I freaked out, and we didn't listen. Four of us loaded the pick up truck, drove up through the parking deck to our floor, and very quickly unloaded into the apartment. It was like a heist, and we should've worn black, masks, and gloves. We made two trips and actually got it all in. Then it was like 9pm, and we finally ate dinner. I spent the the entire day yesterday unpacking the mountains of boxes alone. It was fine though, because at least there was no one for me to boss around. I have OCD, and an insane drive to get things done immediately. I'm making a conscious effort not to make Shaun move the furniture, finish unpacking his stuff, take out the recycling, order the couch, and fix things as soon as he walks in tonight. Friday my mom is coming from Seattle (not just for me), and she's going to help me clean my old room in Hoboken and finish settling in here. I feel much more relaxed living here. It's nice not to have to be polite or walk on eggshells around anyone. It's just our apartment, where we live, not communal living. It's an interesting feeling, because I almost feel grown up or more settled. I don't have to wake up at 1am to a roommate stomping around or worry that I'm bothering someone if my music is on or I want to watch a movie in the living room or cook something. I can just do whatever I want in my underwear, even. I highly recommend this if you currently live with roommates.

I don't have any friends that live in JC, but it's a 5 minute light rail ride to Hoboken. I need to explore the neighborhood, because I don't even know where the grocery store is or the train to work. We also have a pool, grotto and gym which I haven't used yet, but that will be good incentive for everyone to visit I hope. It's basically like living in a hotel. And no, we're not selling crack. We're just in the right place at the right time. Shaun rented his condo out finally for a year, and his friend that owns this apartment said it was open and gave us a good deal. I'm saving money actually from what I was paying in Hoboken, only it's a billion times better. What's weird though is that the washing machine is European and I'm the queen of laundry, and I had to Google how to operate it. I'm guessing most people in this building have maids, so they don't complain. I'm sure I'll be lumped in that category of "Rich Snobby Ungrateful Pain in the Ass" and Shaun will be "Arrogant Jerk Coke Dealing Yuppie Wall Street Baller." This should be a fun year.