Because I Can...

I know we know... that NYC is expensive. I pay $1,295 a month by myself. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. I am seriously, very very seriously considering a move when my lease is over. The problem always was that I didn't want to move across the country alone. Now I can go with my sister. I can buy a house in Portland, OR for less than the cost of my rent. I hear it's artsy out there. It's laid back and I might be a West Coast girl born on the wrong side. Maybe I'll move to a Santa... Santa Monica, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara.... I know there is something else I'm meant to be doing with my life.

I don't want to be a New Yorker. I don't want to move to the suburbs and hire a nanny and make tons of money for working overtime. I need to do something bigger... or different. Something that no one else does. To add to the corniness and throw in another cliche: The dream in your heart may be bigger than the environment in which you find yourself. I think that's true.

I don't know what I'll do when I get out there, but it will be creative. Maybe I'll go to school or teach or change my career. Maybe I'll get into politics or start a business or write. It doesn't matter. If you want something, you make it work. The best part is that no one in Portland or CA has ever lied to me. I don't have any bad memory associations with the West Coast. I've never been disappointed out there. I actually feel better just thinking about leaving here. I should've gone out there when I graduated like I wanted to. I don't know what I'm waiting for here. I'm over being practical and wasting my time. I'm sick of feeling like everything is temporary. So I won't have a ton of people I know out there, but at least it's an adventure. At least it's unpredictable and new and at least I'll try.

If I hate it, I'll just come back, but I have a sneaky feeling I won't be returning.....