When Dish Soap Freezes, It's Time to Use the Heat.

A few things: First, this morning at 1am I spilled Sonic Boom colored nail polish all over my room. That kicked off an awesome day in which the Path was slow, therefore packed. I actually saw a man wait on the edge of the platform until he heard the bell ring to close the doors and then he threw himself sideways into the car... knocking approximately 35 people out of the way. When I finally got to the city, I got coffee to help me stay awake after a very late evening. The coffee tasted like chemicals or bleach or possibly rat poisoning. I assumed it was from the throat spray with zinc I had taken the night before, but Shaun (ze bf) said he didn't notice any changes to his taste buds. I dumped the coffee. See ya later $1.75 . From now on, I'm going to the Starbucks on 5th Ave. and 29th Street. Here's why: whenever I get an afternoon drink, the girl who makes my coffee is so freaking nice. She says, "I hope it's perfect for you, have a great day! Sorry about the wait!" My God, where's the tip jar?

I got to work and already had two blinking, waiting, perky voicemails from sales reps. I checked them and ignored calls for the rest of the day. It rang more times than cabs honk in NYC.. okay that's an exaggeration, but still, it was a lot. I don't answer the phone on days that begin with M, T, W or F. Note to reps: I have caller i.d. Don't stalk me, or I'll take you off the plan.

Here's a truth: Lies The Teachers Tell You

Overheard in the boardroom: "We don't f***ing want to work with you, motherf***er." And that's why I need a career change. Also because of phrases like "halo effect" and "brand ambassador" and "bang for your buck." HUH? Still no word from schools. Help.

I want this:

What I really want is that stuffed animal maybe. I can't actually take care of it, nor do I want it to grow up.

Last weekend, Shaun, who is the best boyfriend ever, and I went to AC just because. I'm happy that he's spontaneous too. We had no idea there was a snowstorm there, but it was still really fun. We stayed in Brigantine, and one cab driver, when asked to take us there, said "No, no please. Please exit the car. I can't go there. No way, no how," as if we had asked him to drive us into the pits of Hell. We got out, after Shaun spilled his beer all over the car. It was an accident! Really! No, really. We got to the hotel, changed, and got a car back to Borgata. I lost $40 on the slots, and managed to lose my Borgata card within 4 minutes of receiving it. We sat with a table of making out girls wearing the sluttiest outfits I've ever seen, and I saw a middle aged woman hump the air for no apparent reason. I also got paraded through the poker room, and I am pretty sure I was mistaken for a rare cut of prime rib, judging from the looks on many faces. We left in a jiffy.

Dear Diary,

Next weekend is skiing in the Poconos with some PSU/Philly crew, and then Isabelle's shower on Sunday. I am excited! BYE. Oh yeah, and today I had coffee with Uncle Eric and his friend Leroy and we discussed the color of scrapple (squirrel color) and the joys of Pabst. ialso drank 44 ounces of Minute Maid Lite Lemonade from the fountain. After work, I made Cocoa Rice Krispies with Poofin and ate the heads off his Dino Nuggets. They were nom.

Love,

Yourself.