My Failed Detox

I decided to detox after watching the documentary, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead on Netflix last Saturday night (cuz that's what you do when you're 27 apparently). That night I threw out a macaroon and Shaun got rid of his leftover pizza (by eating half of it) and we went grocery shopping for about 10 pounds of fruits and vegetables.

In the movie, it's all about juicing and drinking all of your meals for weeks, but these people were obese and really unhealthy. Since I didn't want to lose weight, just feel healthier, I did the Whole Living Action Plan (I still had the January issue lying around and remembered it). We eliminated alcohol, caffeine, gluten, added sugar, dairy, meat, processed food, and did I forget anything? Oh yes, happiness. Week 1, we're only allowed fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds and oils which seemed like a great idea at the time. Week 2 you add fish, lentils, soy, and beans and week 3 you can add back gluten free grains and eggs.

Day 1 was easy because it was a Sunday. We had a smoothie lunch (berries with water/ no sugar applesauce) and then some delicious homemade broccoli soup for dinner. I might've added a little chicken broth, but I didn't want to throw it out and it was already open. I also made a pretty avocado salad.

Photo from Whole Living by Bryan Gardner

Day 2 - massive headache, smoothie breakfast (berries/water), leftover salad lunch, banana maybe, coconut water, another soup dinner (this time Butternut Squash) with grilled mushrooms/peppers - my skin looked healthier but I was very tired - they said that would happen as toxins leave your body.

Day 3 - What they don't tell you is that toxins leave your body by violently beating their way out of your head. Smoothie breakfast (carrot juice with mangos/pineapple - 700% of your daily value of Vitamin A), apple snack (I might've added peanut butter this day because I just needed something - although even that has added sugar), salad lunch, finally strong enough to do yoga after 3 days of weakness, yet another soup dinner (broccoli again) with mushrooms/peppers on the grill again. Tried to make kale chips, didn't work out. Shaun admitted to drinking a can of Coke which is most definitely not allowed.

Day 4 - Do not feel like working - fruit smoothie in a to-go cup (carrot/mango), raw apple, salad lunch, mixed nuts snack (makes me feel sick possibly because the almonds were flavored and had a bunch of crap ingredients), drank 7 cups of water. Then had a team dinner, so kind of gave up on the all fruits/veggies thing. Ate 3 pieces of sushi, had a mushroom salad, and okay fine, a Bellini. It was nom.

Day 5 - By Thursday I mostly threw in the towel. Smoothie breakfast (berry/water) with apple, then for lunch I splurged and got chicken on my salad. It made me feel amazing. I don't even love chicken, but I really needed protein I guess. Then I had two Girl Scout cookies. hahaha After the gym, we went to our favorite Jewish deli and I had a pickle, mashed potatoes (hello carbs!!) and barley soup. AND another cookie. Best day ever!

I forgot I have to fit into my bridesmaid dress in a few weeks, so I figured I should stop starving. If I normally ate really unhealthy, I could see how the detox would be a good thing to teach me how to eat. But otherwise, it's just sort of torture and makes you miss things you never eat anyway. My problem is that I don't love food enough (I blogged about that already) and I never know what to eat so I just eat a lot of salad. It's really boring!

I started a food diary using My Fitness Pal on Wednesday, which is great for anyone because it shows you if you don't eat enough protein, carbs, etc. based on your height and weight and how much you want to lose (or maintain). It recalculates if you exercise. All in all, I recommend a cleanse if you really need to re-learn how and what to eat and have really bad habits (fast food, lots of red meat, pasta etc). If you're already a health nut, it's not necessary. However, a food diary is good for anyone, because now I can see which nutrients I'm lacking and maybe eat less sweets and processed foods. It makes you double think your choices if you have to enter it into an iPhone app... and you know what? I still haven't had Starbucks all week which is a major win for me.

Have you ever done a fast or detox? What do you think about them?

Christmas in California

I'm spending my first holiday season on the West Coast, specifically in a place where the only sign of winter is at Starbucks. Palm tree leaves don't turn red and orange, and it's pretty much still 70 degrees and sunny. I'm writing from a plane on the way to Indianapolis for Shaun's holiday party, and I had to search for my coat. I was sad to bring it. It's bulky and it felt like having another carry-on. I refused to pack mittens or a hat, even though it will be about 30 degrees in Indiana tonight, mostly because I forgot my mittens at work (It's so cold in my office, I wear fingerless mittens to avoid hand cramping).

I spent my first Thanksgiving away from Pennsylvania. Thinking back, I can't remember ever missing a turkey dinner at Grammy's house. I know one year we went to Palm Springs for Christmas (quite awful trip, thank you) and I missed a bunch of Easters since America doesn't give days off for the Resurrection. But this was the first Thanksgiving away. My mom and sister came to San Diego, which was nice in theory. Their visit would've been less stressful if we didn't have to prepare a feast, if there weren't four cooks in the mini apartment kitchen, and if I had an inkling of how to actually prepare a turkey. Luckily my mom took over, and all I ended up making was a gross pumpkin pie (I hate pumpkin pie but it seemed necessary) and some butternut squash soup which took all of ten minutes to concoct (and from which I got a 3rd degree burn on my wrist right under my Om tattoo... Om is right). I felt like a hostess failure. I've decided that I'd much rather go to Cabo next Thanksgiving, no flights, no feast, no family. Okay well I guess there would be a flight and a feast of Mexican food and tequila. Sounds harsh, but when you're crying in the bathroom on the morning of Thanksgiving because you're so overwhelmed it makes you wonder why you bother. I had much more fun once we opened and consumed about five bottles of wine between six people.

For Christmas, I'm flying home for a week. I haven't been home for a week since college, so 4.5 years ago. I'm sort of afraid, but I'll break up the visit by going to NYC for a night (or 2) and visiting friends in PA/NJ. I'm really stressed about the flights, and I hope they're on time. I hope the weather isn't bad so I don't get stuck anywhere. And another thing, I'm not flying to PA until Christmas Eve, and the FAA says no wrapped gifts. Grinchtastic! So I guess I'm wrapping at some point during Christmas Eve dinner and/or using CVS bags and bows. I always imagined myself as a Martha Stewart, totally graceful, organized, and perfect. I would never use folding chairs at Thanksgiving or serve something out of a can. I'd always wrap unique, thoughtful gifts in beautiful custom paper. I'd host wine and cheese parties in designer clothes and send out Christmas cards written in calligraphy. But yeah, I guess that's not who I really am. I'm impatient, I procrastinate, and I forget things. I suppose I'm human (and not a criminal) which makes it all okay right?

I digress (isn't that the most pretentious phrase?) Does being in CA for the holidays make me want to move back East? Not really, but the fact that I'm missing my best friends' bridal showers, and have to fly back to NJ and PA literally at least five times in 2012 does. I really hate flying, it's expensive, my nose runs, and the mini bathrooms freak me out. Also I don't get how the planes stay in the air! But I would hate to miss weddings, graduations and everything else even more. I hate that I have to choose which events to attend, because I can't go to all of them. Then again, I live in a beautiful place where there's no traffic, I walk to work, and I always said I would move to CA so I can cross that off the list. I don't know if I'll move back, but I  know I have to move forward and adjust to air travel and life away from life, at least for now. Time to ice skate on the beach.