When to Take Your Christmas Tree Down

This year, I was especially angry to see people taking their trees down on December 26th. Maybe it's because I'm still waiting for snow, and still half expecting to wake up in PA on Christmas morning. Or it could be because it's January 4th and I still haven't received all of my Christmas gifts in the mail. Or it could be because I woke up on New Year's Day not able to move my head - with a tweaked shoulder injury thing and I literally can't take the ornaments off the tree yet.

Anyway, I researched it and it's actually bad luck to take your tree down before the 12 days of Christmas and Epiphany are over (so ha!). Sidenote - Google autofilled my search query and asked if I meant "when to take pregnancy test" or "when to take creatine." No, Google. Stop. These days, Epiphany may be celebrated on the Sunday between January 2nd and 8th, so today is probably the first day it's okay to take the tree down without getting a hefty heap of bad luck this year. I might take down my snowmen/tacky ceramic figurines/non-tree Christmas crap today and wait til Tuesday to take the tree down. I seriously don't need any more bad luck this year - I already can't look to the left.

I grew up in a Protestant household, going to church more often than I probably wanted and I never knew the 12 days of Christmas started on Christmas and lasted til the Epiphany on January 6th. I mean - what? The Christmas season doesn't start on Black Friday? We're supposed to get trees on Christmas Eve? We really shouldn't be working til after Epiphany? Tell that to Ebenezer "Corporation" Scrooge. Although come to think of it, January 6th was the day my grandmother always took her tree down. And wait, what's Epiphany again? Oh, when the 3 Wise Men finally made it to visit Jesus in the manger. You mean, they camped out in a barn for two weeks, waiting for these foreign dudes to bring them gold and... herbs used for embalming mummies and in face creams? Something like that.

But your tree is dying and making a mess? How about don't put it up in November next time. Or get a fake one and some pine scented candles. There was also that time when I was in high school that we left the tree up til Valentine's Day and put cut-out, paper hearts on it - according to my scientific research project, that's bad luck too because you're taking the old into the new - bringing your baggage along. You have a small window to get that tree down and out - don't screw it up. 

PS Epiphany is a Christian feast day, so don't forget to make your 3rd turkey in a month. How sick are you of turkey at this point? I'm contemplating going to Mexico for Thanksgiving 2015 and drinking margaritas instead. I don't think I can stomach turkey leftovers ever again and we didn't have turkey on Christmas - I'm just still sick of Thanksgiving turkeys. But really - in England (the Motherland) - Wikipedia tells us to light up the yule log, have mulled cider, fruitcake, and such. After Epiphany, we head into Carnival season - leading up to Mardi Gras. Worlds collide.

I think somewhere along the way, we truly lost the meaning of Christmas. These traditions and meanings are being taken out with the garbage bags of wrapping paper. Truly sad. Is it just like that in America? I feel like traditions aren't as wispy in Europe. Is that true?

Which brings me to my other "issue" - how am I still not living in England? Why did my family have to emigrate? Can we go back to 1701 and tell ol' Pappy to just chill out and enjoy the beautiful countryside and the lovely accents of our people and stay put? Then we wouldn't have to work during the 12 days of Christmas and we'd be enjoying a fruitcake today, planning out our next 6 week vacation. Bah! Humbug.

Home Away from Home on Christmas

I wasn't in PA for Christmas for maybe the second time ever in life. I missed seeing everyone and keeping up the traditions we've had forever, but it was nice staying home, avoiding airports, and making new traditions.

On Christmas Eve, after I was done prepping for Christmas Day brunch (press cookies, egg bake, cinnamon buns, bourbon eggnog...), Shaun and I wandered around the Hotel del Coronado. We sat on the beach in the dark and then drove around looking at Christmas lights.

Christmas Eve at the Hotel del Coronado

Christmas morning, we Skyped with my family, had Shaun's mom and sister over for brunch - complete with cinnamon sugar bacon, Cards Against Humanity, and a yule log fire on the big screen TV. We stopped at a friend's house on Christmas night for wine and made friends with a drag queen.

Eggnog

Christmas Morning at Home

On the 26th, we spent our gift cards at the mall and had dinner with new friends downtown. On the 27th, we explored a new neighborhood and visited a new tourist attraction. All in all, a good holiday, despite a bad case of the Sunday blues today due to having to work this week.

Downtown San Diego

Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery

My Failed Detox

I decided to detox after watching the documentary, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead on Netflix last Saturday night (cuz that's what you do when you're 27 apparently). That night I threw out a macaroon and Shaun got rid of his leftover pizza (by eating half of it) and we went grocery shopping for about 10 pounds of fruits and vegetables.

In the movie, it's all about juicing and drinking all of your meals for weeks, but these people were obese and really unhealthy. Since I didn't want to lose weight, just feel healthier, I did the Whole Living Action Plan (I still had the January issue lying around and remembered it). We eliminated alcohol, caffeine, gluten, added sugar, dairy, meat, processed food, and did I forget anything? Oh yes, happiness. Week 1, we're only allowed fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds and oils which seemed like a great idea at the time. Week 2 you add fish, lentils, soy, and beans and week 3 you can add back gluten free grains and eggs.

Day 1 was easy because it was a Sunday. We had a smoothie lunch (berries with water/ no sugar applesauce) and then some delicious homemade broccoli soup for dinner. I might've added a little chicken broth, but I didn't want to throw it out and it was already open. I also made a pretty avocado salad.

Photo from Whole Living by Bryan Gardner

Day 2 - massive headache, smoothie breakfast (berries/water), leftover salad lunch, banana maybe, coconut water, another soup dinner (this time Butternut Squash) with grilled mushrooms/peppers - my skin looked healthier but I was very tired - they said that would happen as toxins leave your body.

Day 3 - What they don't tell you is that toxins leave your body by violently beating their way out of your head. Smoothie breakfast (carrot juice with mangos/pineapple - 700% of your daily value of Vitamin A), apple snack (I might've added peanut butter this day because I just needed something - although even that has added sugar), salad lunch, finally strong enough to do yoga after 3 days of weakness, yet another soup dinner (broccoli again) with mushrooms/peppers on the grill again. Tried to make kale chips, didn't work out. Shaun admitted to drinking a can of Coke which is most definitely not allowed.

Day 4 - Do not feel like working - fruit smoothie in a to-go cup (carrot/mango), raw apple, salad lunch, mixed nuts snack (makes me feel sick possibly because the almonds were flavored and had a bunch of crap ingredients), drank 7 cups of water. Then had a team dinner, so kind of gave up on the all fruits/veggies thing. Ate 3 pieces of sushi, had a mushroom salad, and okay fine, a Bellini. It was nom.

Day 5 - By Thursday I mostly threw in the towel. Smoothie breakfast (berry/water) with apple, then for lunch I splurged and got chicken on my salad. It made me feel amazing. I don't even love chicken, but I really needed protein I guess. Then I had two Girl Scout cookies. hahaha After the gym, we went to our favorite Jewish deli and I had a pickle, mashed potatoes (hello carbs!!) and barley soup. AND another cookie. Best day ever!

I forgot I have to fit into my bridesmaid dress in a few weeks, so I figured I should stop starving. If I normally ate really unhealthy, I could see how the detox would be a good thing to teach me how to eat. But otherwise, it's just sort of torture and makes you miss things you never eat anyway. My problem is that I don't love food enough (I blogged about that already) and I never know what to eat so I just eat a lot of salad. It's really boring!

I started a food diary using My Fitness Pal on Wednesday, which is great for anyone because it shows you if you don't eat enough protein, carbs, etc. based on your height and weight and how much you want to lose (or maintain). It recalculates if you exercise. All in all, I recommend a cleanse if you really need to re-learn how and what to eat and have really bad habits (fast food, lots of red meat, pasta etc). If you're already a health nut, it's not necessary. However, a food diary is good for anyone, because now I can see which nutrients I'm lacking and maybe eat less sweets and processed foods. It makes you double think your choices if you have to enter it into an iPhone app... and you know what? I still haven't had Starbucks all week which is a major win for me.

Have you ever done a fast or detox? What do you think about them?

The Real Housewife of NJ Experiment

The weirdest thing about moving to the city from the country is timing. Everything is delayed if you live a city life. 

For one, people get married later. While my 25-year-old friends at home are getting engaged and married, my New York friends, for the most part, are waiting until they're in the 27/28 range (however, they still live together "in sin" as my family reminded me yesterday).

Kids are an entirely different story. There are a bunch of people at home with kids, but I don't know even one city friend planning to have a baby anytime soon. Mainly because we live in teeny apartments. Where would we put a child? My boyfriend said we'd have to hand the kid a blanket and say, "There's the couch. Good luck."

I don't know of anyone willing to move to Scarsdale or Greenwich, CT. That's where our bosses live. We still like to go out until 4am and a child would absolutely prevent that. Okay actually in reality, I don't go out late very often, because I prefer to not be hungover all day, but still. There are times (weddings, birthdays, random Fridays)  when we still like to go out. Also sometimes we like to blast Linkin Park or Kokomo in the mini apartment, and that would wake a sleeping baby for sure. We don't live very close to family and obviously our city friends wouldn't know how to babysit. Who would help us raise a child? Google? How would that happen? Would I have to quit my job to stay home with it or would I have to get a nanny? Or send it to daycare? How would we pay for a nanny and a child, when I struggle to pay the $1K rent a month? I can't imagine there are any decent daycares in Jersey City and how would I find a nanny I can trust? Let's say I stay at home. Would I resent it? Would I be afraid of not being able to support myself? Would the dad be able to support two people and pay rent and still be a relaxed and happy person?

I did an experiment today. I was off for the dumbest holiday ever, Columbus Day, and my boyfriend had to work. 

So I pretended to be a housewife. Naturally. 

I woke up late, made some fresh coffee from beans I ground myself, and then dusted, scrubbed, cleaned, and vacuumed for five hours. In stilettos and a dress. Okay not really, I cleaned in pajamas. 

I took an hour-long break to chat to my LA friend about our new blog. (Perhaps I'm a stay-at-home lady who gets paid to blog). After the cleaning and laundry, I took my canvas bags and went to the farmer's market. I picked up some mini baby pumpkins to decorate my mini apartment and some fresh green beans for dinner. I figured I would Google how to prepare them. Then I went to Duane Reade for laundry detergent and yogurt, followed by the Asian bodega for chicken broth and a lemon. I called my little sister to see what she was up to (watching Gossip Girl online instead of studying = another future housewife). Upon arrival at my so fresh and so clean apartment, I started making dinner for my breadwinning, heartwinning boyfriend. His favorite thing I ever made is Sunday Chicken. It's Monday, so I made Monday Chicken (same recipe). The prep time is about 1.5 hours. It has to brown, simmer, and bake in lots of wine and butter (the two keys to happiness). I learned that you must cut off both ends of the green bean and rinse and then boil in salted water for five minutes. No problem. I was doing so well that I turned on some Classic Rock and lit a candle. My lighters are missing (stolen), so I used a match for the first time ever, no joke. Sometimes a housewife has to man up. I also made rice, the 20 minute, real, Uncle Ben's kind, none of that boil in a bag crap. I also made homemade iced tea, with two regular tea bags and a Green Tea citrus one for good measure. 

The boyfriend arrived home with his briefcase just as the timer went off. He hung his hat and cloak, gave me a steamy kiss, and then sat at the table with his newspaper. Fine, it was actually ESPN on his computer and he hovered in the kitchen for a bit. Dinner was a success, except he choked on the rice and didn't like the citrus green tea. He noticed that I vacuumed though, which was nice. And he went to the common area of the building to watch football so I could write. What a darling.

All I know is that I have absolutely no energy to do the dishes, my feet hurt, and my back hurts from all the cleaning and slaving away all day. I'm a desperate housewife, and I need a dirty martini. Being a housewife isn't easy. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be a stay-at-home Mom. I'd definitely need to hire a housewife also. Tomorrow I'm going back to work, and perhaps I'll appreciate my 8 hours in a chair a bit more. It might be better than cleaning the toilet and getting splashed with boiling butter, especially if there was a screaming child in the background. DINK for life, or at least for now.