When to Take Your Christmas Tree Down

This year, I was especially angry to see people taking their trees down on December 26th. Maybe it's because I'm still waiting for snow, and still half expecting to wake up in PA on Christmas morning. Or it could be because it's January 4th and I still haven't received all of my Christmas gifts in the mail. Or it could be because I woke up on New Year's Day not able to move my head - with a tweaked shoulder injury thing and I literally can't take the ornaments off the tree yet.

Anyway, I researched it and it's actually bad luck to take your tree down before the 12 days of Christmas and Epiphany are over (so ha!). Sidenote - Google autofilled my search query and asked if I meant "when to take pregnancy test" or "when to take creatine." No, Google. Stop. These days, Epiphany may be celebrated on the Sunday between January 2nd and 8th, so today is probably the first day it's okay to take the tree down without getting a hefty heap of bad luck this year. I might take down my snowmen/tacky ceramic figurines/non-tree Christmas crap today and wait til Tuesday to take the tree down. I seriously don't need any more bad luck this year - I already can't look to the left.

I grew up in a Protestant household, going to church more often than I probably wanted and I never knew the 12 days of Christmas started on Christmas and lasted til the Epiphany on January 6th. I mean - what? The Christmas season doesn't start on Black Friday? We're supposed to get trees on Christmas Eve? We really shouldn't be working til after Epiphany? Tell that to Ebenezer "Corporation" Scrooge. Although come to think of it, January 6th was the day my grandmother always took her tree down. And wait, what's Epiphany again? Oh, when the 3 Wise Men finally made it to visit Jesus in the manger. You mean, they camped out in a barn for two weeks, waiting for these foreign dudes to bring them gold and... herbs used for embalming mummies and in face creams? Something like that.

But your tree is dying and making a mess? How about don't put it up in November next time. Or get a fake one and some pine scented candles. There was also that time when I was in high school that we left the tree up til Valentine's Day and put cut-out, paper hearts on it - according to my scientific research project, that's bad luck too because you're taking the old into the new - bringing your baggage along. You have a small window to get that tree down and out - don't screw it up. 

PS Epiphany is a Christian feast day, so don't forget to make your 3rd turkey in a month. How sick are you of turkey at this point? I'm contemplating going to Mexico for Thanksgiving 2015 and drinking margaritas instead. I don't think I can stomach turkey leftovers ever again and we didn't have turkey on Christmas - I'm just still sick of Thanksgiving turkeys. But really - in England (the Motherland) - Wikipedia tells us to light up the yule log, have mulled cider, fruitcake, and such. After Epiphany, we head into Carnival season - leading up to Mardi Gras. Worlds collide.

I think somewhere along the way, we truly lost the meaning of Christmas. These traditions and meanings are being taken out with the garbage bags of wrapping paper. Truly sad. Is it just like that in America? I feel like traditions aren't as wispy in Europe. Is that true?

Which brings me to my other "issue" - how am I still not living in England? Why did my family have to emigrate? Can we go back to 1701 and tell ol' Pappy to just chill out and enjoy the beautiful countryside and the lovely accents of our people and stay put? Then we wouldn't have to work during the 12 days of Christmas and we'd be enjoying a fruitcake today, planning out our next 6 week vacation. Bah! Humbug.

Christmas in California

I'm spending my first holiday season on the West Coast, specifically in a place where the only sign of winter is at Starbucks. Palm tree leaves don't turn red and orange, and it's pretty much still 70 degrees and sunny. I'm writing from a plane on the way to Indianapolis for Shaun's holiday party, and I had to search for my coat. I was sad to bring it. It's bulky and it felt like having another carry-on. I refused to pack mittens or a hat, even though it will be about 30 degrees in Indiana tonight, mostly because I forgot my mittens at work (It's so cold in my office, I wear fingerless mittens to avoid hand cramping).

I spent my first Thanksgiving away from Pennsylvania. Thinking back, I can't remember ever missing a turkey dinner at Grammy's house. I know one year we went to Palm Springs for Christmas (quite awful trip, thank you) and I missed a bunch of Easters since America doesn't give days off for the Resurrection. But this was the first Thanksgiving away. My mom and sister came to San Diego, which was nice in theory. Their visit would've been less stressful if we didn't have to prepare a feast, if there weren't four cooks in the mini apartment kitchen, and if I had an inkling of how to actually prepare a turkey. Luckily my mom took over, and all I ended up making was a gross pumpkin pie (I hate pumpkin pie but it seemed necessary) and some butternut squash soup which took all of ten minutes to concoct (and from which I got a 3rd degree burn on my wrist right under my Om tattoo... Om is right). I felt like a hostess failure. I've decided that I'd much rather go to Cabo next Thanksgiving, no flights, no feast, no family. Okay well I guess there would be a flight and a feast of Mexican food and tequila. Sounds harsh, but when you're crying in the bathroom on the morning of Thanksgiving because you're so overwhelmed it makes you wonder why you bother. I had much more fun once we opened and consumed about five bottles of wine between six people.

For Christmas, I'm flying home for a week. I haven't been home for a week since college, so 4.5 years ago. I'm sort of afraid, but I'll break up the visit by going to NYC for a night (or 2) and visiting friends in PA/NJ. I'm really stressed about the flights, and I hope they're on time. I hope the weather isn't bad so I don't get stuck anywhere. And another thing, I'm not flying to PA until Christmas Eve, and the FAA says no wrapped gifts. Grinchtastic! So I guess I'm wrapping at some point during Christmas Eve dinner and/or using CVS bags and bows. I always imagined myself as a Martha Stewart, totally graceful, organized, and perfect. I would never use folding chairs at Thanksgiving or serve something out of a can. I'd always wrap unique, thoughtful gifts in beautiful custom paper. I'd host wine and cheese parties in designer clothes and send out Christmas cards written in calligraphy. But yeah, I guess that's not who I really am. I'm impatient, I procrastinate, and I forget things. I suppose I'm human (and not a criminal) which makes it all okay right?

I digress (isn't that the most pretentious phrase?) Does being in CA for the holidays make me want to move back East? Not really, but the fact that I'm missing my best friends' bridal showers, and have to fly back to NJ and PA literally at least five times in 2012 does. I really hate flying, it's expensive, my nose runs, and the mini bathrooms freak me out. Also I don't get how the planes stay in the air! But I would hate to miss weddings, graduations and everything else even more. I hate that I have to choose which events to attend, because I can't go to all of them. Then again, I live in a beautiful place where there's no traffic, I walk to work, and I always said I would move to CA so I can cross that off the list. I don't know if I'll move back, but I  know I have to move forward and adjust to air travel and life away from life, at least for now. Time to ice skate on the beach.