20-Something Myth: “I Can’t Afford to Save”

Moving this over from my Minyanville blog. I don't have time to keep up with it, so it's being archived, sadly. This one was written 3/22/11

I’m a 26-year-old who’s been working in Manhattan as a media planner for four years. I manage budgets for a living, so you would think I’d have a clue about how to manage my own money by now.

Not so much.

I’m only just beginning to realize that I’m not in college anymore. I can’t call my parents to ask if they can pay half of my rent, like I did at Penn State. Just a couple months ago, my cell phone bill was finally transferred from my mother’s name to mine. I realize it’s ridiculous that she paid my bill for that long, but I wasn’t going to bring it up before she did.

So now I’m 100% financially independent, and I have no idea what I’m doing. My head spins and I start dozing off when I try to learn about stocks, retirement funds, and social security.

Still, my goal for 2011 is to figure out some sort of long-term investment strategy for myself, so I’m building a financially stable future, instead of just working to pay rent. As I embark on this wild adventure and talk to financially smarter people, I will keep you posted, so you can learn along with me.

Let’s say you just graduated from college, or you started your first job (congrats on actually finding one), or maybe you’ve been working for a few years, but you’re barely living paycheck to paycheck. You feel like you don’t have the time or patience to invest, and you need every last cent to pay your rent, credit card bill, and college loans. You’re not alone.

I’m in the paycheck to paycheck boat, mostly because my rent is upwards of $1,000 a month in the New York City metro area. Once I pay rent, I’m almost drained for the following two weeks, so I use a credit card. Then with my next paycheck, I pay my credit card. If I happen to buy a trip to Vegas, an expensive birthday gift for my beloved boyfriend, or pay a huge heating bill, I’m in debt for another month. It’s like being in a hamster wheel, and it’s not like we can just hop off.

However, we’re about solutions, not whining, so I talked to Marc Bodinger, a 20-something associate at a financial research firm and self-professed finance aficionado (a rare breed).

“The 2008 financial crisis has demoralized young investors (our age group) to the point where they would rather go shopping then prepare for a future without social security and pensions.”

Yes, but it’s so much more fun to shop!

“Every day we don’t start preparing is a loss when we’re older.”

Scary stuff, Marc.

“In order to invest, you need to save.”

Yes, the first step we need to take toward our futures in a sunny, cushy retirement community in Florida or at least that huge wedding reception we’re throwing for ourselves in the next two to five years begins with saving and/or paying off debt. If we don’t save, we’ll never get off the hamster wheel. And the hamster wheel is not a good place, so you do want to have an exit strategy.

My friends always say, “I can’t afford to save, because I have so many bills!” But in reality, you can’t afford NOT to save.

1. If you have credit card debt or you just bought a fancy watch you couldn’t afford but just had to have, your first priority is to pay it off. And not with another credit card! Sense: that makes none. The interest you pay on these things is like flushing money down the toilet. Interest is how credit card companies stay in business; they want you to be in debt. It makes them rich. Do your best to get rid of your balance. Then if you need me to swing by and cut your credit cards for you, let me know.

2. For college loans, do your research and consolidate to make sure you’re paying the lowest amount of interest possible. The good thing is that college loans are tax deductible. Still, the sooner you can catch up, the better. And when you do catch up, try to stay afloat.

3. Start an Excel spreadsheet and budget your expenses. If you know you’re going to a bar tonight and will probably spend $100 on drinks, food, a cab, and more drinks for some random cute girl, make sure you set that money aside. Don’t worry about it later, just be honest with yourself and prepare. Make a solid effort to live within your means. What do you think our grandparents did before credit cards were invented? I’m guessing they didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on bottle service at a trendy club or buy the latest record player. They only bought what they could afford. A credit card isn’t money. It’s imaginary money. It doesn’t exist until you pay your bill with actual cash you’ve earned. If you’re spending more than you make, get a second job.

Credit cards = Imaginary money

4. Have an emergency stash, a savings account, separate from your checking account. Don’t use it unless it’s actually an emergency, and spring break doesn’t count. Make it a point to put money in whenever you can (birthdays, bonuses, money you won in your office football pool etc.) You just never know what life is going to throw your way.

5. Invest in a 401(k) if your company offers one. The money goes in automatically pre-tax (you can even pretend it doesn’t exist), and usually the company matches a percentage of what you input. Any percentage you invest is better than nothing. Find out the max amount your company will match and aim for that. Or you can do a Roth IRA, with money that’s been taxed in your paycheck already. The max is $5K per year. You can also do a combination 401(k)/Roth IRA if you want to diversify and get fancy.

You’ll always have expenses, but saving, even if it’s only 3% in a 401(k) or 10% of each paycheck in a savings account to buy your first home, is extremely important, so no excuses.

“It’s difficult but it needs to be done because one day you’ll be 55 and you won’t have the time to play catch up. Saving a little everyday now will pay off,” Marc says.

Time is on our side for right now. We need to take advantage of being young and do everything we can for our near and distant futures. I don’t know about you, but I want to be sitting on the beach when I’m old, not in a cubicle.

My Failed Detox

I decided to detox after watching the documentary, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead on Netflix last Saturday night (cuz that's what you do when you're 27 apparently). That night I threw out a macaroon and Shaun got rid of his leftover pizza (by eating half of it) and we went grocery shopping for about 10 pounds of fruits and vegetables.

In the movie, it's all about juicing and drinking all of your meals for weeks, but these people were obese and really unhealthy. Since I didn't want to lose weight, just feel healthier, I did the Whole Living Action Plan (I still had the January issue lying around and remembered it). We eliminated alcohol, caffeine, gluten, added sugar, dairy, meat, processed food, and did I forget anything? Oh yes, happiness. Week 1, we're only allowed fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds and oils which seemed like a great idea at the time. Week 2 you add fish, lentils, soy, and beans and week 3 you can add back gluten free grains and eggs.

Day 1 was easy because it was a Sunday. We had a smoothie lunch (berries with water/ no sugar applesauce) and then some delicious homemade broccoli soup for dinner. I might've added a little chicken broth, but I didn't want to throw it out and it was already open. I also made a pretty avocado salad.

Photo from Whole Living by Bryan Gardner

Day 2 - massive headache, smoothie breakfast (berries/water), leftover salad lunch, banana maybe, coconut water, another soup dinner (this time Butternut Squash) with grilled mushrooms/peppers - my skin looked healthier but I was very tired - they said that would happen as toxins leave your body.

Day 3 - What they don't tell you is that toxins leave your body by violently beating their way out of your head. Smoothie breakfast (carrot juice with mangos/pineapple - 700% of your daily value of Vitamin A), apple snack (I might've added peanut butter this day because I just needed something - although even that has added sugar), salad lunch, finally strong enough to do yoga after 3 days of weakness, yet another soup dinner (broccoli again) with mushrooms/peppers on the grill again. Tried to make kale chips, didn't work out. Shaun admitted to drinking a can of Coke which is most definitely not allowed.

Day 4 - Do not feel like working - fruit smoothie in a to-go cup (carrot/mango), raw apple, salad lunch, mixed nuts snack (makes me feel sick possibly because the almonds were flavored and had a bunch of crap ingredients), drank 7 cups of water. Then had a team dinner, so kind of gave up on the all fruits/veggies thing. Ate 3 pieces of sushi, had a mushroom salad, and okay fine, a Bellini. It was nom.

Day 5 - By Thursday I mostly threw in the towel. Smoothie breakfast (berry/water) with apple, then for lunch I splurged and got chicken on my salad. It made me feel amazing. I don't even love chicken, but I really needed protein I guess. Then I had two Girl Scout cookies. hahaha After the gym, we went to our favorite Jewish deli and I had a pickle, mashed potatoes (hello carbs!!) and barley soup. AND another cookie. Best day ever!

I forgot I have to fit into my bridesmaid dress in a few weeks, so I figured I should stop starving. If I normally ate really unhealthy, I could see how the detox would be a good thing to teach me how to eat. But otherwise, it's just sort of torture and makes you miss things you never eat anyway. My problem is that I don't love food enough (I blogged about that already) and I never know what to eat so I just eat a lot of salad. It's really boring!

I started a food diary using My Fitness Pal on Wednesday, which is great for anyone because it shows you if you don't eat enough protein, carbs, etc. based on your height and weight and how much you want to lose (or maintain). It recalculates if you exercise. All in all, I recommend a cleanse if you really need to re-learn how and what to eat and have really bad habits (fast food, lots of red meat, pasta etc). If you're already a health nut, it's not necessary. However, a food diary is good for anyone, because now I can see which nutrients I'm lacking and maybe eat less sweets and processed foods. It makes you double think your choices if you have to enter it into an iPhone app... and you know what? I still haven't had Starbucks all week which is a major win for me.

Have you ever done a fast or detox? What do you think about them?

Christmas in California

I'm spending my first holiday season on the West Coast, specifically in a place where the only sign of winter is at Starbucks. Palm tree leaves don't turn red and orange, and it's pretty much still 70 degrees and sunny. I'm writing from a plane on the way to Indianapolis for Shaun's holiday party, and I had to search for my coat. I was sad to bring it. It's bulky and it felt like having another carry-on. I refused to pack mittens or a hat, even though it will be about 30 degrees in Indiana tonight, mostly because I forgot my mittens at work (It's so cold in my office, I wear fingerless mittens to avoid hand cramping).

I spent my first Thanksgiving away from Pennsylvania. Thinking back, I can't remember ever missing a turkey dinner at Grammy's house. I know one year we went to Palm Springs for Christmas (quite awful trip, thank you) and I missed a bunch of Easters since America doesn't give days off for the Resurrection. But this was the first Thanksgiving away. My mom and sister came to San Diego, which was nice in theory. Their visit would've been less stressful if we didn't have to prepare a feast, if there weren't four cooks in the mini apartment kitchen, and if I had an inkling of how to actually prepare a turkey. Luckily my mom took over, and all I ended up making was a gross pumpkin pie (I hate pumpkin pie but it seemed necessary) and some butternut squash soup which took all of ten minutes to concoct (and from which I got a 3rd degree burn on my wrist right under my Om tattoo... Om is right). I felt like a hostess failure. I've decided that I'd much rather go to Cabo next Thanksgiving, no flights, no feast, no family. Okay well I guess there would be a flight and a feast of Mexican food and tequila. Sounds harsh, but when you're crying in the bathroom on the morning of Thanksgiving because you're so overwhelmed it makes you wonder why you bother. I had much more fun once we opened and consumed about five bottles of wine between six people.

For Christmas, I'm flying home for a week. I haven't been home for a week since college, so 4.5 years ago. I'm sort of afraid, but I'll break up the visit by going to NYC for a night (or 2) and visiting friends in PA/NJ. I'm really stressed about the flights, and I hope they're on time. I hope the weather isn't bad so I don't get stuck anywhere. And another thing, I'm not flying to PA until Christmas Eve, and the FAA says no wrapped gifts. Grinchtastic! So I guess I'm wrapping at some point during Christmas Eve dinner and/or using CVS bags and bows. I always imagined myself as a Martha Stewart, totally graceful, organized, and perfect. I would never use folding chairs at Thanksgiving or serve something out of a can. I'd always wrap unique, thoughtful gifts in beautiful custom paper. I'd host wine and cheese parties in designer clothes and send out Christmas cards written in calligraphy. But yeah, I guess that's not who I really am. I'm impatient, I procrastinate, and I forget things. I suppose I'm human (and not a criminal) which makes it all okay right?

I digress (isn't that the most pretentious phrase?) Does being in CA for the holidays make me want to move back East? Not really, but the fact that I'm missing my best friends' bridal showers, and have to fly back to NJ and PA literally at least five times in 2012 does. I really hate flying, it's expensive, my nose runs, and the mini bathrooms freak me out. Also I don't get how the planes stay in the air! But I would hate to miss weddings, graduations and everything else even more. I hate that I have to choose which events to attend, because I can't go to all of them. Then again, I live in a beautiful place where there's no traffic, I walk to work, and I always said I would move to CA so I can cross that off the list. I don't know if I'll move back, but I  know I have to move forward and adjust to air travel and life away from life, at least for now. Time to ice skate on the beach.

About LA

Like I said, we don't usually have weekend plans unless someone is visiting. So Saturday morning after GTL (or really just gym), we were watching "Hot Dog Paradise" on Travel Channel. Don't judge. After I nixed Shaun's idea of finding a Nathan's in San Diego, I agreed to road trip to LA for the apparently famous Pink's in Hollywood. We called our new SD friend Jared (well, old friend, new to SD) since he was born but not so much raised in LA. The three of us proceeded north, driving through some crazy man-made smog. Shaun says it's so foggy because we're hiding our military bases so no one can fly over and see what's going on. Sounds logical, but as we sat in 2.5 hours of traffic, I was thinking the smog might just be from fuel emissions.

We finally arrived at Pink's and the sun was shining. I got really stressed with the choices, plus we had to wait in line for half an hour so I changed my mind 55 times, but finally went with the Guadalajara dog, which had relish, tomatoes, sour cream, and I added cheese to replace onions. Meanwhile a pimped out Disney Mustang creepily pulled up next to the line and just sat there. It had stuffed animals out the wazoo, and tons of Disney paintings all over it. Maybe it was supposed to be make kids happy, but nothing says child molester like such a vehicle. Back at the ranch, I actually ate the whole hot dog and it might've been the most food I've eaten in one sitting in quite a long time. Worth the 2.5 hour trip? Probably.

After the feast, we drove to Venice Beach, but all of a sudden the entire city was in a giant, cold cloud. It was so foggy, I went from being in a tank top to a jacket and scarf. I can now kind of see why people like living in LA though. We drove through some very nice tree-lined hoods in Beverly Hills, and Santa Monica. It's a little more city than San Diego, which I liked, but the traffic is everything people say and more. It's horrendous. We don't have that in San Diego really at all, but also Shaun and I don't have to drive in rush hour since I walk to work and he works from home. But the only traffic we've been in was after a Chargers game, when we decided to drive to Costco and took a wrong turn right past the stadium.

We walked along the Venice boardwalk, but note - it's not a good place after dark. During the day, there are lots of freaks, magicians, flea markets, and trickery, but also lots of tourists and it's sunny and happy. But after dark, the good people go home, and the freaks and magicians turn out to be homeless and angry. Cops drive along the boardwalk, people say many bad words and someone even burped in Shaun's face. So we walked back to the car and drove back to Santa Monica to go to Jared's favorite place - Urth Caffe. Seriously good green tea lattes and pumpkin cheesecake at a trendy little outdoor table next to a fountain. Felt like Europe! Or maybe that was the girl speaking with an accent next to us. All in all, LA felt like an extension of San Diego, with a little less Mexican food and a little more shopping.

Why You Should Move to CA...

I'm bringing Old Faithful back to life. This blog got me through four years in New York City, before I finally achieved my only goal in life - to move to California. Now I'm going to use it to document my new CA life and try to get all of my friends and family to move out here too :)

I've been living in San Diego since the end of June, and I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing here. My new goal in life is to do a headstand in yoga (I joined a studio), win the lottery (I've played twice so far, which is 2x more times than I've played in the past), and honestly, I have no idea what else.

I still work in media, and it's pretty much exactly like my NY job, except instead of a cube with high gray walls and no natural light until after 6pm; I sit under a large vent which blasts cold air on me until after 6pm, and it's more of a large desk versus a cube. After work, I go to yoga to work on that blasted headstand and watch TV. I watch way more TV than I used to for two reasons. One, we didn't have cable last year. And two, I have nothing else to do. Well, except blog and play kickball with work on Thursdays. I'm obviously expanding my horizons if I'm playing a team sport. I'm not really the sporty type.

It's a very strange, unsettling, liberating feeling to move to a place where you know no one and your close friends and family live thousands of miles away. I can't imagine doing this alone, and this has to be good for my relationship, since Shaun and I spend every non-working hour together. Sometimes I even walk home for lunch (he works from home), so there's another hour. On the weekends, we try to do different, touristy things so we don't just watch TV. So far we've gone to the zoo, played tennis, explored new neighborhoods, wine tasted on 2-3 occasions, went on a booze cruise, drove Corvettes, and when in doubt, we go to the beach. Rough life.

Pacific Beach, while having a cocktail at a pool

I left NY because I hated the snow that smothered us last winter, I was sick of of feeling sick on the subway, and something about California captured my attention since I was a kid. It was the perfect opportunity to move, because Shaun was ready for a new job and our lease was almost over, so we just sort of did it. It was really stressful at the time but now it seems like no big deal. Overall, I'm less anxious I think, although I have a very intense fear of someone falling off my 27th floor balcony. I really miss my social circle and always having something to do, especially on the weekends. I hate missing important things, like bridal showers for my best friends who are basically all getting married this year. I even miss the homeless people in NY, who weren't even half as insane and drugged out as these San Diego bums.

But wait, this blog is supposed to convince everyone to move here! On the positive side, you won't find more perfect scenery unless you move to Bora Bora, but I heard it's really expensive there and the food is terrible. We have amazing Mexican food, and it's cheap. We have a lot of fro yo places, with toppings such as frosted animal crackers. It's 70 and sunny every single day. I don't even know why I still get weather alerts. One time it rained (drizzled) and everyone was so confused and couldn't drive an inch. I can be at the beach in less than 10 minutes (I go to Coronado which was voted the #1 beach in CA). Wine is really cheap and overall rent is less expensive than Manhattan. Plus I live here, and I need to be entertained! What more could you ask for, really? Besides maybe more friends and family in the vicinity...

La Jolla

I Didn't Forget You, Blog. I'm Just Preoccupied.

My poor blog. I still love you, even though I'm now blogging at www.jfklax.com too.

The Real Housewife of NJ Experiment

The weirdest thing about moving to the city from the country is timing. Everything is delayed if you live a city life. 

For one, people get married later. While my 25-year-old friends at home are getting engaged and married, my New York friends, for the most part, are waiting until they're in the 27/28 range (however, they still live together "in sin" as my family reminded me yesterday).

Kids are an entirely different story. There are a bunch of people at home with kids, but I don't know even one city friend planning to have a baby anytime soon. Mainly because we live in teeny apartments. Where would we put a child? My boyfriend said we'd have to hand the kid a blanket and say, "There's the couch. Good luck."

I don't know of anyone willing to move to Scarsdale or Greenwich, CT. That's where our bosses live. We still like to go out until 4am and a child would absolutely prevent that. Okay actually in reality, I don't go out late very often, because I prefer to not be hungover all day, but still. There are times (weddings, birthdays, random Fridays)  when we still like to go out. Also sometimes we like to blast Linkin Park or Kokomo in the mini apartment, and that would wake a sleeping baby for sure. We don't live very close to family and obviously our city friends wouldn't know how to babysit. Who would help us raise a child? Google? How would that happen? Would I have to quit my job to stay home with it or would I have to get a nanny? Or send it to daycare? How would we pay for a nanny and a child, when I struggle to pay the $1K rent a month? I can't imagine there are any decent daycares in Jersey City and how would I find a nanny I can trust? Let's say I stay at home. Would I resent it? Would I be afraid of not being able to support myself? Would the dad be able to support two people and pay rent and still be a relaxed and happy person?

I did an experiment today. I was off for the dumbest holiday ever, Columbus Day, and my boyfriend had to work. 

So I pretended to be a housewife. Naturally. 

I woke up late, made some fresh coffee from beans I ground myself, and then dusted, scrubbed, cleaned, and vacuumed for five hours. In stilettos and a dress. Okay not really, I cleaned in pajamas. 

I took an hour-long break to chat to my LA friend about our new blog. (Perhaps I'm a stay-at-home lady who gets paid to blog). After the cleaning and laundry, I took my canvas bags and went to the farmer's market. I picked up some mini baby pumpkins to decorate my mini apartment and some fresh green beans for dinner. I figured I would Google how to prepare them. Then I went to Duane Reade for laundry detergent and yogurt, followed by the Asian bodega for chicken broth and a lemon. I called my little sister to see what she was up to (watching Gossip Girl online instead of studying = another future housewife). Upon arrival at my so fresh and so clean apartment, I started making dinner for my breadwinning, heartwinning boyfriend. His favorite thing I ever made is Sunday Chicken. It's Monday, so I made Monday Chicken (same recipe). The prep time is about 1.5 hours. It has to brown, simmer, and bake in lots of wine and butter (the two keys to happiness). I learned that you must cut off both ends of the green bean and rinse and then boil in salted water for five minutes. No problem. I was doing so well that I turned on some Classic Rock and lit a candle. My lighters are missing (stolen), so I used a match for the first time ever, no joke. Sometimes a housewife has to man up. I also made rice, the 20 minute, real, Uncle Ben's kind, none of that boil in a bag crap. I also made homemade iced tea, with two regular tea bags and a Green Tea citrus one for good measure. 

The boyfriend arrived home with his briefcase just as the timer went off. He hung his hat and cloak, gave me a steamy kiss, and then sat at the table with his newspaper. Fine, it was actually ESPN on his computer and he hovered in the kitchen for a bit. Dinner was a success, except he choked on the rice and didn't like the citrus green tea. He noticed that I vacuumed though, which was nice. And he went to the common area of the building to watch football so I could write. What a darling.

All I know is that I have absolutely no energy to do the dishes, my feet hurt, and my back hurts from all the cleaning and slaving away all day. I'm a desperate housewife, and I need a dirty martini. Being a housewife isn't easy. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be a stay-at-home Mom. I'd definitely need to hire a housewife also. Tomorrow I'm going back to work, and perhaps I'll appreciate my 8 hours in a chair a bit more. It might be better than cleaning the toilet and getting splashed with boiling butter, especially if there was a screaming child in the background. DINK for life, or at least for now.